NaNoWriMo08 - Giving of Thanks

Giving of Thanks

In truth Toki was never actually an overly huge fan of Thanksgiving.  It wasn’t that he disliked it, it was just that after a certain point he wasn’t thankful for much anymore.  The Thanksgiving he spent alone after having fallen was the worst and really drove home the point that he had very little to be thankful for at the time.  Things were different now however, and while he had spent the past two years trying to get Edsel to celebrate the holiday, this year he felt for the first time that it simply had to be done.  This year he had something to be thankful for and that made all the difference.

“I’m going to kill us both you know.”  If anyone else had uttered those words it would sound like a threat, but coming from Edsel it was more of a warning.

“You know that’s impossible.  Besides, you’re baking.  It’s not like you’re using a chainsaw.”

Edsel stopped stirring the substance in his mixing bowl long enough to push some stray strands of hair out of his face.  As was becoming more common he wasn’t wearing his bandages, but that meant more annoyance from the hairs that refused to stay pulled back.  “Except you’ve already had me cut things, including myself and now you’re having me mess with the oven.  It still hurts if I burn myself you know, it just heals faster.  And it still smells bad too.  Just keep that in mind.”

Toki laughed and shook his head as he worked on the sweet potatoes.  Edsel could be such a baby sometimes.  “I’ll put it in the oven, how’s that?  Seriously, I’ve never heard someone complain so much about making pumpkin bread.”

“Well you’re the one who dragged me into this whole cooking ordeal so you get to hear me complain.  I thought the big Thanksgiving dinner was your thing, not mine.”

“Oh come on, what would you be doing if you weren’t helping me cook?  You’d be sitting on the couch reading a book or watching TV.  At least this way you’re up doing something productive, and we’re spending time together.  Holidays are about togetherness you know.”

“So you keep reminding me.”  Edsel smiled despite his attempts not to.  “Okay so maybe I’m having a little bit of fun.  I’ve never actually cooked before, not even when I was human.”

“Really?  I guess I’m not surprised since when you were alive cooking was a womanly duty, and after that you just stopped eating.  I’m glad I got you to change your mind on that by the way.  You missed so much just by not eating actual food.”

“I think you’re just trying to fatten me up for some reason.  I’m not going to find out down the line that Guardians eat their charges when they’re done with them will I?”

Toki blinked a few times before responding.  “That would be incredibly strange… and I think some Guardians are vegetarian so that just wouldn’t work for them.  There aren’t any plant Guardians you know.”

“Gee, I can’t imagine why that is.  Though I probably wouldn’t be surprised if there were plant Guardians actually.  You did say there were animal Guardians after all, and most people would find that a little weird.”  Edsel continued stirring for another moment before holding the bowl out to Toki.  “I’m pretty sure I got it all mixed in.”

Toki looked into the bowl and nodded.  “Yep, that’s good.  I’ll pour it into the baking pan once I’m done with these.”  As he spoke he looked up, and once Toki’s eyes hit Edsel’s face he had to laugh.  The vampire was speckled with flour and stray bits of dough.  Toki had no idea how on earth that had even happened, but it was terribly cute.  “Uh, Ed?  You’ve made a mess.”

“What do you mean?”

Toki put the last of the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes and wiped his hands off before approaching his roommate.  “You have managed to get stuff all over your face.”  As gently as possible he brushed off the flour and hardening dough.  

“I’m not a child you know,” Edsel argued, his cheeks turning pink under Toki’s fingers.  “I could do that myself.”

“Yes, but you don’t know where everything is.”  Of course this was just Toki’s excuse.  In reality he used every opportunity he could to gain further contact with the man he loved.  If there were a reason for it then Edsel wouldn’t suspect, he would simply think that Toki was being his normal stubborn self.  It really was rather brilliant, at least it was as far as Toki thought.

“If you spit on anything and start wiping my face with it I’m going to bite you.”

Toki laughed and brushed off another spot of flour.  “Actually it’s about that time anyway.  I suppose we can have our big Thanksgiving dinner and then you can have your real dinner.  I might even wake up in time for more dessert.”

“Maybe you won’t have to go back to bed right afterwards either.”  Edsel smiled and eventually Toki gave up on cleaning the vampire’s face.

“It’d be nice if I hit the point where I don’t have to sleep afterwards but I doubt that will ever happen.  I’m just glad that I’m not as tired as I used to be.”

“Me too actually.  I know you said it never bothered you but those first few times when you were so exhausted it killed me.  I really considered telling you never mind on a few occasions but I knew there’s no way you’d listen.”

“Nope.”  Toki smiled at his own defiance.  “I have to take care of my vampire don’t I?”

Again Edsel faintly blushed, something that quite often happened when Toki referred to him as “his vampire”.  Edsel had never said it out loud but he actually liked the phrasing.  It was nice knowing that someone cared for him, even if it wasn’t in the way most people probably thought.

“Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll be in there in a few minutes,” Toki suggested.  He’d noticed the blush but decided not to say anything.  “I think you’ve served your time in the kitchen for today, at least until it’s time to do dishes.”

“Oh goodie, I have something to look forward to.”  Edsel clasped his hands together in mock joy and laughed as he hurried out of the room.  He knew that if he waited too long Toki would rope him into doing something else.  Edsel may have enjoyed helping out but there was only so much pain he wished to risk causing himself in one day.

Around twenty minutes and a lot of banging around in the kitchen later, Toki joined Edsel on the couch.  “So, did I miss anything?”

“Well this girl Lucy is kind of a bitch.  For some reason she gets the greatest joy of out telling this kid Charlie Brown to come kick the football while she holds it.  I can’t even understand why he’d want to do something like that in the first place, I guess it’s a kid thing.  Anyway, he goes to kick it, she pulls it away and he falls in what sounds like a pretty dramatic way.  But the thing is, he knew she was going to pull it away and yet she convinces him that she won’t so I think she’s done this before.  Really it’s his fault by this point and why on earth would he fall in the first place?  Wouldn’t he just kick air?  Does his foot have to meet resistance to keep the rest of his body from taking flight?  It makes no sense!”

Toki had never before heard someone dissect Charlie Brown, and he was equal parts amused and fascinated by it.  “Well, I guess if he was expecting a ball to be there it could catch him off guard.  Or maybe he just has poor coordination.”

“Poor planning is more like it.  You know, if he had doubts that she’d actually hold the ball there he should have at least planned for it.  It’s not like he was completely caught off guard, he was expecting it!  What is wrong with this kid?”

“I think he has self esteem issues.  I mean he’s practically bald and he’s like… eight years old.  I imagine once he hits high school he’s never going to get a date.  Or if he does it’ll probably be from that girl in class that no one else wants to date.”

“That’s assuming he doesn’t develop a better personality before high school.  He could you know, especially since that seems to be his problem now.  I mean nobody respects this kid, it’s really kind of tragic.”

Toki bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.  Who got this passionate about Charlie Brown?  “Well you know there’s always the possibility that by the time he’s in high school he’d be so far gone that he’d be the type to decide to steal one of his Grandpa’s guns and go on a shooting spree.  These things do happen.”

“No, I don’t think so.”  Edsel shook his head and looked thoughtful.  “No, he’s not the type of kid.  I know they say it’s always the ones you least expect, but he’s too hopelessly optimistic.  I kind of like him even though you just know he’s destined to fail.  He doesn’t seem miserable even though he probably should, you know?”

“It’s an admirable trait.”

“In a way.  Though you could also look at it as incredible stupidity. “

“You’ve missed most of the show you know.”  Finally Toki let himself laugh, though only a quiet chuckle.  Edsel actually looked a little disappointed to realize that the show was almost over.  “Have you really never seen it before?”

“No, I was never big on holiday shows.  I liked it though, or what I saw of it.  Why is it that people enjoy watching a show that is based around some eight year old’s pathetically sad life?”

“I have no idea, but don’t worry there are more of them.  The Christmas special is a holiday classic and I think you’ll like that one better anyway.”

“Oh?”  Edsel turned to face Toki, giving him a curious expression.  “Why’s that?”

“Well if I told you then it’d give away the whole thing silly.  You’ll just have to wait till next month.  If you’ve never watched holiday specials before you are in for some sensory overload my friend.  December is all about Christmas in this country.”

“I realized that a long time ago.  I hardly even turned the TV on because of it.”

“Oh how Grinch-like of you.”  Toki grinned, knowing that Edsel would have no idea to what he was referring.

“Grinch-like?”

“Yes.  And you’ll understand that next month, until then you can just deal with not knowing everything for once.”

Edsel would have responded but his attention was caught by a commercial advertising another Charlie Brown special that was to come on next.

***

Dinner actually didn’t turn out too badly, which surprised Toki more than it should have.  He was a pretty good cook but this was the first time he’d made almost an entire Thanksgiving dinner by himself.  The things that Edsel had helped with were minor and they were more or less done just to get Edsel involved.

“Toki I can make my own plate, you don’t have to dish things out for me,” Edsel argued when the Guardian took his plate away from him.

“I know you’re capable but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you.  You’re not going to just pick things you think you’re familiar with, you’re trying everything.  I know you haven’t had some of this stuff before and you may like it.”

“And if I don’t clean my plate are you going to forbid me from having dessert?”  Edsel crossed his arms and pouted, which of course failed to garner any sympathy.

“No, but I might hold your pie for ransom if you don’t at least try some of everything.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“Try me.”

This just caused Edsel to pout more, which Toki had to force himself to ignore as he continued piling food on the plates.  There was enough food on their kitchen table to feed several people and Edsel had to try a little of everything.

“You really shouldn’t pout you know.  It’s unbecoming.”

Edsel wrinkled his nose.  “I’m not pouting.”

“Yes you are.  And really, why are you pouting?  I’ve made a ton of food that you’ve never eaten and all I ask is that you at least try one bite of everything.  Pouting about that is kind of childish.”

Edsel hated it when Toki was right, and unfortunately this was one of those times.  He wasn’t really sure why he was pouting actually, it just seemed like a natural reaction when arguing with Toki.  Of course it never worked, but he held out hope that it might someday.  

“Are you doubting my cooking abilities?”  Now it was Toki’s turn to pout.  Edsel simply sighed in return.

“Of course not.  Now stop fishing for compliments and give me my damn plate.”

Toki laughed and set Edsel’s plate down.  “So speaking of fishing for compliments, I believe this is the part where we’re supposed to say what we’re thankful for.”

“Is that necessary?”

“It is a tradition after all.  Would it make you feel better if I started?”

“If you must.”  Edsel sighed again, knowing that by the end of this little exercise in American tradition he’d be blushing yet again.  He seemed to blush an awful lot for a man with no heartbeat.

“Well I’m thankful I’m no longer doing that awful job anymore, that’s for sure.  Even if it did put me in a position where I’m useless as a Guardian and will eventually be killed it’s better than hating my life.”

“Really?”

Toki looked over at Edsel, a little surprised at the interruption.  “Yeah, definitely.  It is a little scary knowing that someday they’ll need my energy and they’ll send someone to kill me but I can’t live every day thinking of that.  I gotta just enjoy my life while I’ve got it.  For all I know it could be hundreds of years before that ever happens.  Last I checked there was plenty of Guardian energy.”

“I hope so,” Edsel said quietly.  He knew that Toki could hear him but he still didn’t feel the need to say it too loudly.  “You know damn well what I’m going to say I’m thankful for.  That’s why you wanted me to do it in the first place.  You’re really the only thing I have to be thankful for.”

“While yes, I may have assumed that’s what you would say, I’ll argue that I’m the only thing you have to be thankful for.  You have a lot Edsel, you just don’t realize it.”

Edsel smiled and shook his head slowly.  “No, that’s not true.  But I’m okay with that.  I guess normal people have a long list of things to be thankful for but if you have one why do you need the others?”

“Because we can’t live for one reason alone.  It’s just not the way things work.  I… don’t think it’s healthy.”

“What about me is healthy?”  Edsel asked, still smiling.  “Besides, I thought you’d be flattered.  You’re the reason I’m no longer miserable Toki.  Without you I’d still be feeding off of strangers in bars and coming home to wallow in my own self pity until the guilt passed.  I definitely smile more than I ever did before.”

“I’m glad for that, you have a beautiful smile.”  Toki smiled back at Edsel.  “What about Ilse?  You’re not thankful for her?”

“I… don’t know that yet.  I guess the fact that it’s not an automatic no means something but I’d be hard pressed to give an automatic yes.  I do enjoy life now though.”

“Well I guess that’s good enough for the moment.  And  y’know, of course I’m thankful for you Ed.  You gave me a place to stay, you didn’t kick my ass out even though I lied to you, and y’know you actually gave me a reason to smile.  So thank you.”

There it was, the blush that Edsel knew was coming.  “Right, now that we’re done embarrassing me with more sentimentality than I think I’m forced to put up within a month, can we eat?”

Toki chuckled.  “I suppose we can.  Though you are adorable when you’re all pink.”

“Oh would you stop that!  You’re not going to make me blush again.”

“Yet.”  Toki grinned wickedly as he started in on his food.

***

Dinner was fantastic and by the time they were finished neither immortal could eat another bite.  After cleaning up they packed up some food and brought it to the neighbor, who was grateful despite being confused as to why the nice gay couple she never really talked to was bringing her food.  They stayed for a few minutes to talk but once they returned home they spent the rest of the nice sitting on the couch watching TV until it was time for bed.

“We don’t have to do this tonight you know,” Edsel said as they got ready.  Toki was brushing his teeth but with the bathroom door open he could clearly hear his roommate from their room.

Toki spit and examined his teeth in the mirror.  “Why wouldn’t we?  I got my nice dinner, now you get yours.”  After rinsing his toothbrush off and getting a few swishes of mouthwash Toki headed back to their room.  “Or I’m at least assuming you still consider my blood better than human blood.”  

“Of course, you know that.  But I mean, there’s no reason to end the night with exhaustion, not on a holiday.”

Toki smiled and slid into bed, patting the spot beside him.  Bed had become his favorite time of the day, simply because it was the time when he knew he’d end up closer to Edsel than he could ever get during the daylight hours.  Even if he had to keep his feelings a secret, at least at night he could pretend that the sleeping vampire felt the same.  Of course when Edsel drank his blood he was too exhausted to remember much, but he also felt that time was special.  Apparently without realizing it, Toki had become far more of a sap than he’d ever remembered being in the past, and while that had it’s annoying moments he’d just learned to deal with it.

“What happened to having more dessert afterwards?  It’s late enough now that you know you won’t wake up before morning.”

“Edsel, why are you being so argumentative?  We had plenty of dessert already, in fact I sat there and watched you stuff your face with not one, but two pieces of pie.  You know very well that I don’t need to wake up for dessert.”

“Yes, I know.”  Edsel sat on the bed and pulled the elastic band out of his hair, setting it on his nightstand.  “I just know that this is our first real Thanksgiving together and yes that’s my fault but I don’t want it to end with you passing out.”

“That’s very sweet of you.”  Toki reached over and ran his fingers through Edsel’s hair.  “But you’re being silly as always.  I think it’s a perfectly good way to end our first holiday together.”

“I have never met a person who was so into having his blood drank, or at least not someone who wasn’t some kind of weird vampire fetishist.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s kind of weird.”  Toki chuckled.  “I don’t know why it makes me so happy, I just like doing it.  You do so much for me, it’s nice to know there’s something I can do for you too.”

“There is plenty that you do for me that doesn’t involve you giving me substances required for you to live.”  Edsel stretched out next to Toki and smiled at him.  “But I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate it.”

“I know you do.  I wouldn’t offer otherwise.”

Toki closed his eyes and as always, had to keep his more lustful thoughts to himself as he felt Edsel get closer to his neck.  A chill ran down his spine as the vampire’s fingertips touched his skin, pushing stray strands of black hair out of the way.  

“Are you cold?”  Edsel asked, having noticed the chill.

“No, I’m fine.  Don’t worry yourself.”

Edsel nodded and Toki felt the breath getting closer until a warm pair of lips touched his skin.  It wasn’t a kiss exactly, just a touch that always lead to the feeding.  It was a quirk of sorts he supposed, just something that Edsel did without thinking about it.  That touch was followed by the pinch of fangs as they broke through Toki’s skin, and the Guardian gasped softly at the slight pain.  It never was extremely painful but some nights it seemed to hurt a little more than others.  Edsel knew by now not to stop and ask if Toki was alright, instead he removed his fangs from the wounds and began to drink.  As he quite often did Edsel laced his fingers with Toki’s, enjoying the feeling of closeness he got from the added touch.  Edsel had no idea how much the Guardian enjoyed the extra attention, which was probably for the best.

“Happy Thanksgiving Edsel,” Toki whispered after he felt the vampire’s tongue running over the wounds, lapping up the last spots of blood.  “We’ll be doing this next year, you can’t get out of it now.”

“I’d already assumed as much.”  Edsel pulled the blanket up over them and rested his head on his pillow.  He was never really tired after feeding but he always stayed with Toki anyway, at least until he fell asleep.

“As long as there’s pie you’ll be content I imagine.”

Edsel smiled but didn’t say anything in response.  Instead he remained silent, listening to Toki’s heartbeat until the Guardian slipped into a turkey and blood loss induced sleep.